Lies I Learned at Church

I’ve got a new sermon series brewing in my head… but I could use a bit of your help. So the series deals with exegetical fallacies and theological tall tales. I was thinking of calling the series “Lies I Learned in Church”. I don’t want to deal only with theological and exegetical issues but also hit some practical issues. I will give you the beginning of my list and you feel free to fire at the comments section to with any ideas you have. I was thinking of building the series around music since so much of our bad theology started out as a bad song lyrics.

  1. When He Was on the Cross, I was on His mind.
  2. God Loves People More than Anything.
  3. My Children Come to Me by Choice. SEE IT


  1. Reply
    Bobby O says

    The lady who gave me ‘the fire’ told me that I could never get sick because I was a follower.

    I asked her about the flu, and she told me I was getting into ‘deeper secrets’ or something.

  2. Reply
    Michael says

    Wow, that video started off humorous and then just made me cringe the longer it played. When you do #3, make sure you stand up there with a dollar bill in your hand, and say the following with a bit of a country/Joel Osteen-ish voice –

    “Take the dollar from my hand, it’s as simple as that.”

  3. Reply
    Michael says

    You should do something about the “Sinner’s Prayer”.

  4. Reply
    clintclifton says

    I think ray boltz has a song called “Sinners Prayer” I’ll have to check into that.

    The health and wealth thing is good to… there is a ton of music along those lines.

    thanks guys!

  5. Reply
    Becky Porter says

    Immediately upon reading your “Lies I Heard At Church” this came to my mind…although I have not necessarily heard it at church only, but seen it on bumper stickers, refrigerator magnets and such….”Jesus is the reason for the season”. In a sense He is the reason, but not the real reason. WE are the reason for the season and deeper than that OUR SINS are the reason for the season, the reason He left Heaven, the reason for the birth in Bethlehem, the reason there had the be a perfect Lamb, the reason there was a cross, the reason there was a resurrection.

  6. Reply
    clintclifton says

    Thanks Mrs. Becky! Your the coolest S. Georgian I know! I will keep that in the mix when deciding rather or not I should do this series. Whats going on at Lyons? – You know, Next week marks a year from the time we spent together in Iceland!

  7. Reply
    Becky Porter says

    Yes, I know it’s been a year…..and I’m ready to go back. I can’t tell you how I envy (oops…..not suppose to do that) Colby Garman and his family…going to that awesome place to serve the Lord. I listen to Lindin quite often and cry. Don’t know why I have such a longing for that place. Every day I pray for the “man on the bench” in the video, the atheist named Tina that works in the “Viking Store” and a lady I met behind the school where we stayed. Her name was Anna. We had a nice talk. Clint, I want so badly to turn the clock back and start my life over….it would be so different.

  8. Reply
    rebeccawire says

    How about Evangelism is as easy as A-B-C? Oh and don’t forget the “This pen is a free gift” illustration.

  9. Reply
    rebeccawire says

    I just read Bobby’s comment and I am now cracking up laughing.

  10. Reply
    Jamie Limato says

    Here’s one for you. “Come to church, We want embarass you.” Then we ask all the visitors to stand while everyone else sits. Super Stupid.
    Another one is “Friends If you just pray that simple prayer then we believe you got borned again.”
    love you bro and pray all God’s success for you.

  11. Reply
    clintclifton says

    Nice, I should do this with every sermon.

  12. Reply
    karen says

    How about ….”God couldn’t be everywhere, so He created Mothers”…

    totally unBiblical when you consider one of God’s attributes/characteristics is being Omnipresent. But this saying is plastered everywhere, all the time and I have seen it in church people’s homes.

  13. Reply
    Cindy says

    By Audio Adrenaline:

    “Your sins are forgotten
    They’re on the bottom
    Of the ocean floor”

  14. Reply
    clintclifton says

    Ya… because are sins really aren’t forgotten… because that is passive. What God has done is active… He has chosen (because of Christ) not to hold our sins against us. Thanks Cindy… Now I know where PBJ gets his theological wisdom!

    What a thrill to have your monther-in-law comment on your blog!

  15. Reply
    Jonathan Davis says

    Just noticed this post…I must have missed it.

    How about the church should be all about numbers, why else would God provide a whole book of the Bible on them.

    Kind of leaves out the personal growth part if you ask me.


  16. Reply
    mikescott92 says

    How about “The safest place to be is in God’s Will”.. Have you read the Bible lately? What happened to most of the Apostles and John The Baptist.. Not to mention the average person today. When we put ourselves out there to truly be used by God we are marked….

    Another good one is “God Needs You to Spread The Word”.. He doesn’t need any of us.. We are blessed to be a part of His plan and should be living and talking about it any way..

    This is a brilliant Title and Series that will really catch the average person’s eye and ear..

  17. Reply
    joel says

    “I’ve got a mansion”-improper use of original language

    “there’s a light at the river”-unless their talking about a spotlite.

    And whether or not you agree with the “free will song” that has got to be the dumbest sounding song ever!!!! It should be banned from either side of the theological divide!

  18. Reply
    dave says

    baptism saves….

  19. Reply
    Clint says

    Dude… bulls eye on that one! It reminds me of a Gospel track that I saw one time. It said, “God’s simple plan of salvation”- I have been wondering about that ever since… whats simple about Jesus, His gospel or His salvation? I think what the guy was trying to say is that the application of salvation to your life is simple… However, I’m quite confident that that is not true either.

    your words- “And whether or not you agree with the “free will song” that has got to be the dumbest sounding song ever!!!! It should be banned from either side of the theological divide!”

    you are a stinking riot. This very type of humor is what I blame for at least a point off of my college GPA.

    on the theological issue at hand…

    Lets pretend for a minute that I am an Arminian songwriter (which of course i am not)… I still don’t write a song with a line that says “My own sons come to me by choice” when John 15 says, “”You have not chosen me, but I have chosen you.”

    let me say Joel, when you finally start a church I am going to have a hard time not dropping everything and becoming a member!

  20. Reply
    joel says

    You’re too kind my friend! I am embarrassed that I even set foot on PCC’s campus! That tune sounds like a forced (and a songwriter would know what i mean) effort to simply attack Reformed theology. Give me a break!

  21. Reply
    mikescott92 says


    There was a great Arminian song writer. His name is Neil Peart from the band RUSH! Free Will was one of their best tunes ever.

  22. Reply
    clintclifton says

    Oh ya… as mislead as he may be at least he is a good songwriter….

    You can choose a ready guide in some celestial voice.
    If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.
    You can choose from phantom fears and kindness that can kill
    I will choose a path that’s clear
    I will choose free will.

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